More than Single

Dear Madisen,

The Let Down And The Trust

I’ve always been an ambitious girl, who, from my parents’ struggles and successes, have learned that we need to work hard to get what we want in this life. I’ve taken risks and pushed myself out of my comfort zone with the security of knowing that nothing is out of my reach if I work hard enough for it. I’ve realized, through multiple life experiences (and Disney movies), that I can achieve anything if I have the right amount of effort and perseverance. I’ve been practicing an attitude of patience and hope through it all, but have slowly come to see that my control over most aspects of my life is merely a delusion. Take a girl like me and you’ll see that these qualities, which are praised in such a fast-paced society, can also foster an ultimate flaw: fear.

This certain type of fear makes it hard to be patient in waiting for desired circumstances, and makes it even harder to

Note to {Future} Self

Dear Future Self,

I don’t know where you are in life right now, but I hope that it’s somewhere good. Or, at least I hope that you can find some good in it. I don’t know if you’re still doing the same job, are in the same field, or if you’ve found something else, but I hope you’re doing something you love. More importantly, I hope you’re making a difference while doing it because I know that’s always been important for you.

Before I tell you some things that I think are important for you to remember, I want to tell you where we are in life at the point this letter’s written.

Hey, You.

You may be struggling right now, financially, psychologically, or physically.

You may have just lost someone and haven’t really gotten over it, knowing deep down that there’s a part of you that never will.

You may feel utterly alone, like no matter how many friendly and warm faces you see, they just don’t get it.

You may be the subject of someone’s envy or you may be letting your own envy consume you.

You may have been cheated on, by someone you love(d), by someone you hate, or maybe even by life.

To Those Who are Tired of “Keeping Up”

First off, I want to say that I’m tired.

Tired of trying to be what is expected of me from society and competing against others in this rat race.

Tired of caring about how my life is perceived on social media: pictures based on virtual likes.

Tired of questioning myself, especially when others do.

I’m tired of it all. I’m sure you’re tired too. 

Loving Your “Enemy”- Not Just an Expression

Alright, this is one of the biggest challenges I’m facing right now, especially in terms of growth as an individual. I believe in being both retrospective and introspective, constantly reflecting on who we are so that we can work towards being a better version of yourself. To be clear, I don’t want to be improve myself to stroke my ego. No, I want to improve so that I can be the best person I can be for my family, friends, and society. I want to say and do everything patiently, honestly, and kindly. However, sometimes those values clash with each other and I sometimes find myself dangerously close to becoming a contradiction.

I remember skimming a little book at the bookstore about hugging a porcupine. Your “enemy”, or someone who is opposed to you and may be working against you, is like a porcupine who has his/her guard up because he/she feels threatened.

Young Love (3/3): Personal Case Against Diamonds

Diamonds did not become reputable until the late 1900’s when DeBeers, while attempting to establish its now current monopoly, decided to give it its rare image by presenting it as a symbol of ultimate love that will last forever. With the right marketing tactics and its many successes, women all over the world believe that receiving a diamond ring will be the conclusion of a quality courtship.

When a man considers engagement, he mainly spends a lot of time planning how he’s going to propose, but doesn’t

Young Love (2/3): Why Doubt is Important

Doubt. We always wrestle with that conniving demon. It can cause us to give into fear, attempting to cut us short from achieving our full potential. It can make us to rethink our lives and to question ourselves, but it can also force us to refine ourselves thereafter. So, doubt can be good; it can lead us to consider what is truly important and what is worth fighting for. It is necessary and though we battle it constantly, if we are able to be victorious we will always come out stronger.

Young Love (1/3): Getting Married in Your Early 20’s

Lately, a bunch of my friends in their early 20s are engaged to be married and are getting criticized for it. I used to believe you shouldn’t make that commitment until you have most of your life established, but after knowing these couples personally, I find myself defending them and their choice.

There has been more of a stigma towards people who get married a little younger than what is now the average age. In the past, it was the norm to get married before or in one’s early 20s. However, the standards of society have shifted and people who get married before 25 are easily dismissed as irrational and even foolish. You should have everything figured out before you get married. You’re young, you can’t possibly know what you want in life, which means you can’t possibly know what you want in a partner. Let’s not forget the fun! You’re in your 20s and you should be having fun.